Love Me Better, Make It Matter
Commencement Speech, James Cook University Singapore | 22 February 2025
Good morning, Chancellor, Vice Chancellor, members of the official party, distinguished guests, members of staff, ladies and gentlemen, and most importantly, graduates.
It is an immense honour to be here with you today as you embark on the next chapter of your lives.
Before I begin, can I invite us all to take a brief moment to honour this special occasion that celebrates your efforts, perseverance, and growth. Let’s all take a long deep breath in… hold it… and now a slow, complete exhale.
As you breathe, ask yourself: What is one word that captures how you feel about yourself right now? Hold that word in your heart today, even if you forget everything I say.
The Story That Made Me
Allow me to share a bit of my story with you — especially for those of you who are the first in your families to graduate.
I was born in the late ’60s with an eye defect, in a different time, in a different Singapore. My beloved grandpa, desperate for a boy, gave me the name Theng, meaning Stop — a spell to prevent my parents from having more daughters. Because of my divergent squint, I was also called “sampat” or retarded as a pet name for most of my childhood.
But despite the labels and the spell of stop, that scrawny, weird-looking girl was determined to be unstoppable.
I became the first university graduate in my immediate family and the second in the Ong clan. By 26, I was the Managing Director of an international company. My career continued to rise fast and furiously with bigger roles and overseas opportunities.
Then, at 38, everything fell apart for this CEO when my heart was broken into a million pieces as my marriage collapsed, and my career, health and bank account crumbled all at the same time.
That perfect breakdown became my profound breakthrough. I learned, with every cell in my body, that true success isn’t about what we achieve on the outside — it’s about how we nurture ourselves on the inside.
That brings me to the learnings I wish to share with you today, what I call the 3Ms of my heart:.
1. Mental Wealth
First is Mental Wealth. Mental wealth is more than mental health. It’s about investing in gratitude, resilience, self-compassion and emotional intelligence.
After my breakdown, I learned to honour my emotions, practise daily gratitude and meditation, and listen to my body. Instead of focusing on what I had lost, I focused on what I still had — family, friends, experience, values. From that place of haves, not scarcity, I rebuilt my life.
And I learned this: healing doesn’t come from having all the answers. It’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s okay to ask for help.
As you step into the world, there will be many moments of doubt, failure and uncertainty. But if you cultivate your mental wealth as you build your financial wealth and stay in gratitude, you will always have a foundation to rise from.
2. Marginalised Communities
The second M that shapes me is Marginalised Communities.
As a child, I was “othered” because of my eye defect and towering frame. That experience shaped the way I feel about inclusion, particularly through my work with the Deaf and hard-of-hearing community at Hush TeaBar. It’s not just about providing employment — it’s about recognising and empowering the talent and worth of those often overlooked.
Graduates, as you step into new careers — whether in law, healthcare, business, or the arts — you will encounter systems that are not always just or inclusive. I urge you to use your voice, your influence, to amplify those who are unheard. Because when we lift others, we all rise.
3. Mother Earth
The third M is Mother Earth.
As a child, I found refuge in climbing trees when I was bullied. Thirty years later, when my world crumbled, I returned to that solace, hugging a tree every Sunday after my run.
Taking care of myself led me to take better care of our planet — I call this eco-empathy. Fifteen years ago, I made small changes like going vegan and taking public transport instead of driving.
Mother Teresa once said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can all do small things with great love.”
Every small act of care counts. Whether you’ll be making business decisions that prioritise sustainability, developing policies that protect the environment, or teaching the next generation to value nature in your work — do it with great love for people and planet.
Closing: Love Me Better, Make It Matter
From being labeled ‘slow’ and ‘ugly’ when little to “weird” and a “troublemaker” in Parliament, to experiencing the highs and lows of love and life — I’ve learned this: The human experience is not about being comfortable, nor to chase comfort. It’s about becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable, knowing that what happens around us can be uncertain and ambiguous.
It’s easy to let labels and judgments shape who we think we are, but hold them loosely. Instead, hold on firmly to your values — because they will guide you through good and bad times.
Thirty-five years ago, when I graduated, I never imagined I’d be standing here with you today. But I now know my purpose: to give my gifts away, including my stories. I don’t need to chase a certain future. I just focus on showing up where I am, to serve and be a voice for things that matter.
I don’t need to run from my past either. I carry the name Theng with peace, knowing it was given with much love. The eyes that once invited name-calling are now the eyes through which I see the world with gratitude and curiosity, knowing that I am enough.
So, I sum up my learnings into this final M that I will leave you with: Make It Matter but you must also Love Me Better. Because you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Love Me Better — Nurture your mental wealth. Be kind to yourself. Take care of your emotional health. Show up for yourself and others. You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy.
Make It Matter — Don’t just chase success. Make an impact in the 3Ms or more. Stay true to your values. You become what you practise.
So Graduates, (slow) Love Me Better, Make It Matter — may this be a call to action for you from inside out.
(Do we want to say this out loud together? LOVE ME BETTER, MAKE IT MATTER; LOVE ME BETTER, MAKE IT MATTER.)
The world doesn’t need more successful people. It needs more people who are thriving — lifting others as they rise, and together caring for the only home we have, planet Earth.
Now, as I close, can I ask you to take one more deep breath. Hold onto the word that came up for you earlier. Let it be a reminder, a touchstone, of your strength, your worth and your purpose. Remember, you are unstoppable.
The world is waiting for you. Go thrive. CONGRATULATIONS, Class of 2025.
A Nominated Member of Parliament in Singapore from 2018 to 2020, Anthea Ong is an experienced board member and board chair backed by a proven track record as a corporate C-level executive of 30 years. A passionate advocate and sought-after speaker on mental health, human-centred leadership and social entrepreneurship, she has also published extensively in The Straits Times, CNA, Today, Mothership and Institute of Policy Studies aside from two books, with a third one on Upsides of Being Down in the works. A creative and dynamic leader of change, she has founded several impact initiatives, including Hush TeaBar, WorkWell Leaders, SG Mental Health Matters, Palestinian Scholarship Initiative, CritiCare Fund for Migrant Workers, A Good Space Co-operative and Welcome in My Backyard. Her varied experience, including as a ICF Certified Professional Coach, provides valuable perspectives to boards and executive teams including as a strategic advisor to Intellect, Asia’s leading and fastest growing mental health company. A dedicated practitioner and instructor of meditation and yoga of almost two decades, Anthea also strives to walk the talk of be well to lead well.