A Coaching Session for Singapore: Shifting from Fear to Flourishing
Anthea Ong
If Singapore were a person navigating today’s world, struggling with the weight of its past, present, and future, what would a coaching session look like? With 60 years of nationhood approaching in 2025, let’s imagine this conversation.
Coach: Welcome, Singapore. You’re turning 60 — how are you feeling?
Singapore: (smiling but anxious) 60 is a big milestone! But honestly, I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Everything feels so uncertain right now. Climate change, mental health struggles, the future of work with AI… There’s so much pressure. I really want to talk about how this is affecting my people, especially the younger generation.
Coach: It sounds like a lot is weighing on you. What’s coming up most strongly for you right now?
Singapore: (hand on chest) It’s like a constant tightness. I can’t breathe properly, and I never feel fully relaxed. My mind won’t switch off. I’m always on edge, worrying about making the wrong move, messing things up. I feel like I’m just one bad decision away from losing everything. Every time I hear of a mental health tragedy — like the recent loss of a 15-year-old girl to suicide — it breaks my heart. We can’t keep going like this.
Coach: That sounds overwhelming. What do you think has kept you in this “survival mode” for so long?
Singapore: (pauses, reflecting) I’ve always been driven by fear — fear of being abandoned. After all, I came into this world by being expelled from Malaysia. From the start, I had to fight to prove I was worth occupying space. That’s where kiasu (fear of losing out) and kiasi (fear of taking risks) came from. I built this culture around competition, pushing harder and harder. It worked for a good while — I became an economic miracle from ‘third world to first world.’
But now, I see that this cycle is taking its toll. The pressures we place on our youth, the constant measuring of success — it’s overwhelming. One young person said, “I wasn’t suicidal because I was mentally ill; suicide is a reflection of social health.” That really struck me.
Coach: (gently) You’ve achieved so much, Singapore, but it sounds like the very things that made you strong are also causing harm. How might you begin to shift away from kiasu and kiasi and towards something different — something that doesn’t come at the expense of your people?
Singapore: (pauses, thinking deeply) This just hit me, how can I and my people not be anxious if I identify with these fears as my values, wow! I need to focus on kamsia (thank you/gratitude in Hokkien) and ka ki nang (solidarity in Teochew). I’ve often said, “I am small and have no natural resources,” but that’s a limiting belief. I have compelling strengths — my strategic location, my multicultural identity, my resilient people. It’s time to rethink what success really means, and how I speak myself into being.
I want a society where the well-being of my people, especially the youth, is valued more than competing against each other. But how do I make that shift? How do I move away from a mindset of scarcity to one of possibility?
Coach: I hear you. That’s a lot of anxiety to carry. It’s almost like you’re constantly running on empty. But what if this feeling of ‘survival mode’ has served you in some ways? Has it helped you navigate difficult moments and achieve what you’ve achieved?
Singapore: (nodding slowly) Yes, I see that. It’s helped me survive and stay competitive. But I think I’ve outgrown it now. I don’t want to live with this weight forever. It’s not sustainable, how can I be going this way when my people are anxious and overwhelmed all the time?
Coach: Sounds like you’re ready for a shift. Let’s explore how you can embody kamsia and ka ki nang. What action steps could help you move towards this new mindset, and create a society where your people can breathe and thrive?
Singapore: (thoughtfully) Well, I think ForwardSG and the National Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy are steps in the right direction. But they don’t quite capture simply what a collective vision of well-being looks like for us as a society. I think we need to live and act on the ideals of our National Pledge — “as one united people.” This is where ka ki nang (solidarity) comes in. We need to unite, not through stress and competition, but through a collective purpose, through mutual support. Solidarity builds resilience.
Achieving this requires systemic change across government, business, and education. The government must integrate well-being into national policies, making it as foundational as economic growth. Businesses must redefine success, not just in profits, but in how they contribute to collective well-being and environmental sustainability. Educational institutions must go beyond academic excellence to prioritise empathy, emotional intelligence and collaboration — skills that foster resilience and social cohesion.
Coach: That’s a powerful insight. What role do you think your leaders will play in shaping this shift?
Singapore: (reflects) Leadership is crucial. Leaders need to walk the talk. They can’t just say we need solidarity and well-being — they must model it in their own behavior. They need to prioritize well-being in their decisions, not just economic growth. When leaders lead with gratitude (kamsia) and create an environment of solidarity (ka ki nang), it sets the tone for the entire society.
I need leaders to redefine success. Success can no longer be about competition, grades, awards, and wealth. True success should be about the health, happiness, and well-being of our people, and their ability to thrive, together. We can be prosperous, but we also need to be emotionally resilient and connected.
Leaders who walk the talk will inspire others to do the same. They must model vulnerability, encourage collaboration, and shift the focus from individual achievement to collective flourishing. This will create a ripple effect.
Coach: Absolutely. Leadership is the key to making this transformation happen. When leaders model kamsia and ka ki nang, they create a culture where those values become ingrained in every aspect of society. And as a collective, you can begin to define success by how well you nurture the well-being of your people, not just their economic status.
Singapore: (smiling, hopeful) Yes. I think it’s time. I’ll work to foster a culture where our leaders exemplify these values and guide us toward a society where we all flourish — not just survive.
Coach: That’s the way forward, Singapore. You’ve done it before, and you can do it again. The shift from survival to thriving will require bold leadership and a commitment to well-being. But it starts with you — and with the leaders who will help guide you.
Singapore: But I’m also afraid. What if I lose my edge? What if I fail to keep up in a world that’s still so competitive?
Coach: (calmly) What if you don’t? But also, let me ask you this: What will happen if you do fail? What will your people do?
Singapore: (pauses, slowly considering) I guess they’ll adapt. They’ve always been resilient. Maybe it’s not about maintaining an edge for the sake of competition. Maybe it’s about building resilience, creativity, and collaboration, so that we thrive together — not just by individual achievement, but by supporting one another.
Coach: Exactly. And you don’t have to drop economic prosperity in order to do that. Prosperity can still be part of the equation, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your people’s well-being. When you shift focus to gratitude and solidarity, you’re not abandoning success — you’re just evolving the definition of it. You’ll have a more sustainable path forward, where progress is about flourishing, not just surviving.
Coach: Let’s take a moment to summarise. What do you think are the key takeaways from today’s session, Singapore?
Singapore: (reflecting) I think I’m ready to redefine success. It’s no longer just about competition and individual achievement. True success is about our collective well-being, our resilience, and our ability to thrive together. I need leaders to walk the talk — modeling gratitude, collaboration, and solidarity in their actions. We can be prosperous, but not at the expense of our people’s emotional health. I need to make sure that well-being is integrated into every part of society — government, business, education. And most importantly, I need to remember that building resilience and flourishing doesn’t mean abandoning economic growth — it means evolving our definition of success.
Coach: That’s powerful. And what action steps can you take to move forward with this shift?
Singapore: (with conviction) First, I’ll work with my leaders to set the example of kamsia and ka ki nang. We’ll create spaces where collaboration and empathy replace competition. We’ll redefine success to include mental and emotional health as much as economic growth. I’ll push for policies that prioritise well-being and make it foundational. We’ll support businesses that contribute to collective well-being and environmental sustainability, and our education system will go beyond academic excellence to focus on empathy, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
Coach: That’s a clear path forward. How are you feeling about it?
Singapore: (confident) I’m ready. It’s time for Singapore to be more than an economic miracle but also about our global stewardship in the wellbeing of people and planet at the heart of our success. Yes, this feels right and I am ready.
Coach: I’m confident you’ll get there, Singapore. Congratulations again on 60 years of a remarkable achievement, and I look forward to your next 60 years of a new success.
Anthea Ong is a former Nominated Member of Parliament (2018–2020), social entrepreneur, mental health advocate, and author. She has published extensively on mental health, leadership, and social entrepreneurship and is the founder of several impact initiatives, including Hush TeaBar, WorkWell Leaders, A Good Space Co-operative and SG Mental Health Matters. An experienced certified coach, she’s passionate about guiding leaders toward creating healthier, more connected workplaces and communities.